HELP WANTED

( Missions are under the cut! )

HELP WANTED

( Missions under the cut )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
10th edition, Sept. 3rd, y20348

Impromptu Waterpark on third floor causes mold, structural instabilityIn what this reporter is sure was a light-hearted attempt to have a bit of fun on an otherwise boring day, several refugees took the initiative to flood the third floor and create a bit of a miniature water park. ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
9th edition, July 2nd, y20348

Sex-ed Controversy!In a spirited but seriously misguided attempt to enlighten the younger generation about the nature of the birds and the bees (or just the bees and the bees, as some disgruntled students have said), one young refugee has seriously challenged both the admittedly loose morals of ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
8th edition, June 1st, y20348

Red Dragon Fireworks recreates the Big Bang!
Or as close to it as they can get. Several chemists set up shop in one of the empty warehouses on the Thor's lower floors this month. The results of their labors were felt at one point throughout the entire ship when a grave miscalculation resulted ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
7th edition, May 9th, y20348

A marriage proposal to rememberIn a display that many patrons of the Stellar Host Club deemed "shocking" and agreed "will haunt my nightmares for eons to come" Guy Cecil, Duke of Auldrant, proposed to his long-time gorilla Tae Shimura. With a series of grunts culminating in an act considered ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
6th edition, April 4th, y20348

Serial Planter on the Loose?!Recently, a large garden-like area has been manufactured under what seems to be a span of one month. Garden-creator Youmu Konpaku had stated that she made it in order to continue the tradition of the annual flower-viewing festival that takes place every spring. Even ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
6th edition, March 5th, y20348

Valentine's Day fire at local pubThe Saucy Underdog suffered from a devastating fire on Valentine's day as the result of what witnesses report as a fairly routine bar brawl going horribly, horribly wrong. The Underdog lost everything in its interior to the raging inferno, the true cause of which ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
5th edition, Feb. 3rd, y20348

Negotiations Confused, Loud, Yet SuccessfulNegotiations with the Babel Fish Union finally concluded today, after several days of futile efforts due to the strike rendering participants unable to communicate with each other. Despite the confusion and increasing volume of negotiators, the Union ( Read more... )

~THE LIGHTNING POST~
4th edition, Jan. 4th, y20348

Destructive Fight Among Refugees Endangers ShipA loud commotion earlier this month was found to be caused by an altercation between two of the refugees, who apparently felt a residential corridor was an appropriate place to settle their differences. The damage was extensive, requiring several ( Read more... )